Editor's Note I’m trying to stop the fighting By Darcy L. Fargo

Aug 31, 2022

I’ve been fighting with it on and off for decades.

It’s my hair.

Longtime readers may remember the picture that accompanied this column for quite a while after I started work here. In that photo, I had super short hair. For most of my life, I’ve had super short hair.

As you can see by my more current photo, my hair is longer now. When I stopped cutting my hair short and let it grow a bit, there was no controlling it. It flipped in a bunch of different directions. My hair looked like something you’d see on either a shaggy dog or an unruly toddler. I’d straighten it, but if there was even the slightest bit of humidity in the air, it would go back to flipping in different directions. As a result, I simply got into a habit of straightening it or wearing it up.

A few months ago, I was running late one morning, and I was more than a little frazzled. My hair was soaking wet from my shower. I had to choose between drying and straightening my hair and being on time for a morning appointment. The appointment won. I dried my hair as best I could with a towel, and I headed out the door.
By the time I got to my appointment, my hair was mostly dry. It was also mostly wavy/curly. I honestly didn’t know it did that. It looked pretty wild to me. The person I was meeting, someone I’ve known for a couple of years, commented as soon as she saw me.

“I love the beach waves,” she said. “That’s a really good look on you.”

Stunned by the response, I tried the look again a few days later. This time, I added a bit of product to my hair and scrunched my hair a bit to help it curl/wave more evenly, and I went to work.

At least a handful of people told me they loved the curls/waves.

“Ok,” I thought to myself. “This is a look.”

Now, I wear it curly/wavy more often than not.

It struck me that I spent years fighting what I was given by God and trying to straighten my unruly, wavy hair. I fought the curls – that which I was gifted by God – for so long, I didn’t even realize I had them.

Then, I realized this is something I do all the time. God gives me more gifts than I can count and certainly more gifts than I deserve, but I often fight him, especially if the gift doesn’t come packaged the way I envisioned it or according to my desired schedule.

I’m sometimes pretty ungrateful.

Luckily, God has an uncanny way of reminding me that His ways are far better than my ways.

At least they are if I stop fighting.